Bad Night

Why is it so hard to eat right when this time of year comes around? It's not even that I have had a bunch of functions to go to where there is all kinds of sweets or baking to eat! Last night, I decided that I was hungry... so I walked the 1 1/2 blocks to safeway just to buy junk to eat. I have food in the house. But at 4:30 (when the sun was setting) I figured that I needed some comfort food.

I picked up a large tray of sushi (I'm sure it would be enough for 2), a jar of antipasto (at least it was a small jar), some crackers, AND a box of mac and cheese. So over the next 5 hours - I ate it all. Or at least I tried to. I could only eat 1/2 the box of mac and cheese. By then I was feeling sick. Is it the lack of light that makes me want to eat all evening? And why do I crave heavy, salty food? I wasn't going to blog about it, but I did originally say I wanted to be honest. So honest I'm being.

I think I have said before how difficult late fall, early winter is for me to lose weight. And I stopped baking a long time ago (while I love doing it, I'm the only one who eats it). I don't have a lot of Christmas parties to go to where there is tons of bad food being served. Spending time with my family is usually confined to a week at a time (where if I blow it, it only is a week). So why is this time so tough? I crave hot chocolate (which I normally don't), I want heavy pastas with cheese (which I can normally avoid), I dream about loaves of bread dipped in butter (I try never to buy bread), and I think about fat ladened dips with copious amounts of crackers. And I want to eat it all by myself. It isn't about sharing good food with friends and family. I just wish I could figure out what's going on in my head.