Pictures

So I am noticing a difference in how my clothes fit. And I think I have lost weight in my neck (thank goodness - it was beginning to disappear). I was out at a park yesterday in the sun and wind, feeling fit after walking for 90 minutes, and I thought I should get some pictures taken. So someone snapped them for me (5 or 6 - don't ya love digital) and when I got home and looked at them - OH GROSS! I just can't bring myself to post them. I guess that shirt is NOT flattering. And I probably shouldn't wear tank tops. And while I strongly believe that trying to tan is very harmful (especially because I only burn) I end up being very white - pasty and see through even. Which is better for my skin, but not so great for looking fit.

How is it that I am so upset by these pictures? Why? I have admitted that I'm overweight and NEED to lose weight. I even am admitting it to prefect strangers (or potential perfect strangers if you believe that there are lots of people reading my blog). I wrote my weight in black and white (which is now 12 lbs lighter than when I started - this is working...). And yet, I'm really leery of posting pictures of myself. But I think after this rant, I have to. I believe I talked about being brutally honest at the beginning. And taking very staged pictures really isn't brutally honest. And I don't think I'll be wearing this top out again in public for some time....

I think when I only post the most polished pictures, you may miss how much I have to lose. Maybe I fool myself with how much I have to lose. So at this moment in time, I really looked like this. And I continue to work towards a healthier me.